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Signs Your Family Has Olympic Fever
By Anna Christopher

1. You Vomit Red, White and Blue.
And your little sis has a stars 'n stripes rash on her ass.

2. They Got the Gear.
Your bro is wearing skates to the dinner table, and Dad's sporting his ski suit at work.

3. Everyone's an Olympian to Your Dad.
This morning he said, "If you want Gretchen Bleiler to drive you to school, help Lindsey Vonn put on her backpack and scoop up Apolo Ohno's poop before someone steps in it."

4. Your Mom Is Boycotting Pasta.
'Cause those no-good Italians have mad luge skills. She's also constantly bad-mouthing the Germans and has purged her iPod of all Bryan Adams' music. (The Canadian curlers are great this year.)

5. You Break Into a Cold Sweat When You See THIS Guy.
And you've set "The Olympic Fanfare" as your ringtone.

TOP FIVE Hall of Fame

Lily’s relationship with Max began on a bowling date. She fell head-over-heels for him when he loved that they shared the same shoe size. The relationship ended on Valentine’s Day 2009 after he gave her a black, lacy thong and said that she’d look sexy in it because it was the kind his mother wore. That was the final straw.

She had never liked Valentine’s Day anyways. Who wanted a weird little naked baby shooting them with things? Plus, those candy hearts made her pee smell weird. Valentine’s Day 2010 would find Lily sitting on the couch with her best single friends and a bottle of wine. Black lacy thongs, her butt!

Check out the newest editorial by Lynne Fort: What I Learned In College - Balance

V-DAY RANT

by Jen Leavey

CUDDLE MONSTER
Inspiration for Rihanna's Grammy dress.
Click here to see what the heck we're talking about!
Submitted by Allie Brown

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YO, MEMBERS
(February 8, 2010)

* "What I Learned In College Part Three: Balance" By Lynne Fort

* Last Week's TOP FIVE: Signs Your Psychic Is Legit

* Valentine's Day Cards Available NOW!

* Top 5's looking for new listmakers. Wanna take a stab at it? Email Anna at anna.christopher@lilydidit.com!


		ARIES You are on fire this week. Stop, drop, and roll! Take this advice metaphorically or literally depending on your particular situation.				TAURUS You are remorseful this week when you tell a 13 year-old that she sings like a whale and will never make it on AMERICAN IDOL with that ass. This proves that you do have feelings. That homeless guy who called you a heartless scumbag douche monster, doesn't know what he's talking about.
		GEMINI You are fortune's fool this week. Your just-recalled Prius is buried under 26 inches of snow, and your neighbor won't stop playing the Black Eyed Peas "I Got a Feeling" on his guitar. Take heart - it won't always be like this.				CANCER You are sexy this week. Amazing what a little face glitter can do.
		LEO You are paranoid this week. And you should be... bah-ha-ha-ha-ha!				VIRGO You are adventurous this week. And it suits you. Especially when you wear your skinny jeans and those cute brown ankle boots.
		LIBRA It's about time you work on your anger issues. Step 1) Stop hitting people. Physical violence is not an accepted form of communication.				SCORPIO You get bit by a spider on Wednesday. By Friday, you are a time-traveling super hero with a great bod. Best bug bit ever.
		SAGITTARIUS When Saturn enters your sixth house on Saturday, you find you crave Lil' Wayne songs. Embrace this condition for if you fight it, the consequences as dire as Lil' Wayne's face.				CAPRICORN You feel tired and melancholy this week. Poor baby! Now shut up and persevere.
		AQUARIUS Just say yes.				PISCES Just say no.

by Chris Landa