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YO, MEMBERS
(September 10, 2010)

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TOP FIVE
Lists I’m Thinking of Writing about the Oscars
This is a week where it’s easy to be topical with all of the Oscar hoopla going on. There were so many hits and misses at this year’s telecast, I haven’t picked one list to write yet. And the nominees are:

1.
Top five things you could make out of Jennifer Lopez’s dress and still have enough material left for another dress.

2.
Top five times the technical director cut away to James Cameron when it wasn’t really appropriate to cut away to James Cameron.

3.
Top five times I got Queen Latifah and Mo’nique confused. Because I’m racist.

4.
Top five processed meat products my boyfriend compared Kate Winslet to in her breast-smushing, tube-top corset dress.

5.
Top five ways Kathryn Bigelow has come up with to answer the question “What’s it like to be a woman and win the best Directing Oscar?” as if she had been asked “Wow, what’s it like to win the best Directing Oscar?"

Shannon Corder is a screenwriter in LA and will totally get blacklisted for writing this column.

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