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YO, MEMBERS
(September 10, 2010)


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TOP FIVE
New Years Resolutions

By noted astrologer Goodtime Charlie [http://www.goodtimecharlieblog.blogspot.com]

After 11 months of laziness and gluttony, capped off by a fortnight of culinary Christmas orgies, there is some adorable, skinny little monster inside all of us that yearns for change. In pant size, sex, career, personality, parents...and so we vow to do things differently next year. We make resolutions. Whether you say these resolutions aloud or in your head, I can hear you. The five most popular ones from years past are:
 
1. Sleep
Spend fewer nights wandering the streets warning children of the impending apocalypse / cackling.
 
2. A Little Balance
Drink no more than 14 bottles of wine per week
 
3. Hair
Turn bald head into elegant mohawk by Valentine’s Day.
 
4. Memory can come in handy sometimes.
Finally learn names of my siblings/parents.
 
5. The Biggest Loser
Lose at least a thousand pounds.


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