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TOP FIVE New Years Resolutions
By noted astrologer Goodtime Charlie [http://www.goodtimecharlieblog.blogspot.com]
After 11 months of laziness and gluttony, capped off by a fortnight of culinary Christmas orgies, there is some adorable, skinny little monster inside all of us that yearns for change. In pant size, sex, career, personality, parents...and so we vow to do things differently next year. We make resolutions.
Whether you say these resolutions aloud or in your head, I can hear you. The five most popular ones from years past are:
1. Sleep Spend fewer nights wandering the streets warning children of the impending apocalypse / cackling.
2. A Little Balance Drink no more than 14 bottles of wine per week 3. Hair Turn bald head into elegant mohawk by Valentine’s Day. 4. Memory can come in handy sometimes. Finally learn names of my siblings/parents.
5. The Biggest Loser Lose at least a thousand pounds.
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