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TOP FIVE Entertainment Stories I Can't Care About This Week
1. Tiger Woods I was with ya all until the 7th mistress. Seven?! Now I don't know whether to castrate him or worship him so I've chosen instead to no longer care. This is why I stay out of Florida. 2. Sandra Bullock Reemerges as Box-Office Heavyweight That sentence was painful to write. 3. Jennifer Aniston Hosts Star-Studded Holiday Party Luckily healthcare was passed, the war ended and the world has come together on climate change. What? Shit! Really? Oh well, you think Brangelina will come to Jennifer's party? 4. Sarah Palin Gets Tomatoes Thrown At Her Ok ok, even Ned has to care about something. The Christmas spirit erupted in my soul as I read this. 5. Miley Cyrus Shows Off Her Tits To The Queen Making her the last person on Earth to see Miley's ta-tas.
By Ned Ryerson, currently farming tomatoes on his desert island, preparing for his return.
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